He gasps: "My friend is dead! One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell? " It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Corporal Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Linda Cardellini spitting when she bursts out laughing at the end was accidental. He then unzips his trousers and puts his penis in the lion's mouth. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? The Twitter and Facebook apps only require your basic account information. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs given to you by a deceased relative? These are originals, too, but have had additions: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that hangs on your wall? Thanks to the pig, I was able to save my family. Sally says, "He's three feet tall. How do you start a jewish parade? "Doctor, I have a problem... " "What's your problem? "
Now can you understand how I got put in this place? St. Peter says to him "God has looked at your book of life and you are welcome in heaven under one condition" The man say "What's that? Now, " he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first? She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do? First visited more than 180 days ago. What do you call a dog with no legs in the middle of a highway? You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three >different companies. "Lecturer, " she responded.
Tailgunner: I heard my squardon leader holler "Enemy planes at 5 o'clock! " A man who is good in bed. Sven and Ole, who are both from Minnesota, traveled down to Texas for a vacation. In Scotland, slowly but surely getting rat ddenly one of them spews all down himself and blurts "F---, look at the state of my shirt! I'm getting a urine test. Ask KidzSearch Staff.
A man who will treat her nicely, 2. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush. Your comment on this answer: Jan 22, 2019. omaga. He was my friend, faithful and just to me: But Crouton says he was delicious, And Crouton is an honorable salad seasoning.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot? Ah'll take 50 of them there suits at five dollahs each, 100 of them there shirts at two dollahs each, and 50 pairs of them there trousers at two-fifty each. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal. "Shut up and eat your corn flakes. It is a clock and a snow man. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. Is your computer male or female? Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb? She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said.... Shakesfork Monologues Monologues by William Shakesfork Copyright by the author, all rights reserved Author's Note: Here are some monologues from the parodies of Shakespeare that I, the great William Shakesfork, have written.
I am normally in shops, and i always buy something. If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success? The man answers, "How do you think I rang the doorbell? While walking along a busy downtown street in Dallas, they see a sign in a store window which reads, "Suits $5. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to withstand the heavenly appearance of a chocolate birthday cake, or to indulge in its seven sweet layers of pure pleasure, and by hiding it from the greedy mouths of others, eat it all by myself. God was surprised, "What? A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Author Adventures Club.
Artie chokes... Artichokes! Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $ one condition. " What has four legs but cannot walk? This is not a true example, but deserved an honorable mention! He has brought many captives home to Saladopolis, whose ransoms did the extra large coffee cups fill: Did this Caesar Salad seem delicious? The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. I'm going to the >Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago" He swallowed hard. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow: 1. There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill.
One day, it gets to be too much. As he settled in, he >glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. "I'm >sorry, " she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. Why didn't you move when I honked? Idk what oh no a clock. A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. First, let's make sure he's dead. "
You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was > reliable, five times! I don't know how these started, but you have to give people credit for being creative! Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? My daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. A: What did your last slave die of? Where have all your scabs gone? " "No way, " replied Satan. What can go up a chimney but not down?
The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories >is the Southern redneck. " He locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. What has many keys but cannot open a single door?
There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $250, 000 to your beneficiaries.